Few phrases in regards to feminism irritate me more than this one. I had read on many blogs stories of the authors hearing people state “I’m a feminist, but….”, however I had never heard it for myself until this past semester. Twice in my sociology class and once from a friend during a telephone conversation, those exact words have been said to me: “I’m a feminist, but…”
My male sociology professor has on two different occasions posed the question “Who in here is a feminist?” to my class. Both times I was the only one who shot my hand straight up into the air, especially on the day I was wearing my “This is what a feminist looks like” T-shirt. A couple of my classmates tentatively raised their hands, often not above their shoulders, while most of them kept their hands down and looked awkward. A guy in the back row once laughed nervously and made the statement “I’m a feminist, but…. I’m a guy”, to which my professor also laughed and said “That’s okay”. The guy then continued to say “Well, I don’t know… they all just seem so… angry.” And there it was. Stereotypes like that are what make me angry, which I’m aware is somewhat counterproductive because then the stereotype is “fulfilled”. However, feminists being angry is one of the most common reasons that people use the phrase “I’m a feminist, but…”.
I kept my mouth closed in class that day and also the next time I heard a classmate use the same follow-up to the phrase “I’m a feminist, but…”, however when talking to my female friend on the phone, who said essentially the same thing (“Some of them are just so crazy about it!”), I couldn’t help but say something sarcastic along the lines of “Yes, because all feminists are also extremist dykes who burn bras and don’t shave their legs.” Okay, admittedly I might not have used those EXACT words, but that’s what I felt like saying. Instead, I decided that from then on, when someone says that phrase to me, I will definitely mention one of the infamous stereotypes that are associated with feminists and point out the flaws with it. I mean, look at religion. Religion is a topic that causes much controversy, likely more than feminism does, and there are many various beliefs that people have when it comes to being religious – same as feminism. So saying “I’m a feminist, but… they’re just so angry!” would be like someone saying “I’m a religious person, but… they whip themselves as penance!” Most of you would think in response to that “Well, obviously some do, but not the majority”. So yes, obviously there are SOME extremists when it comes to religion, just like there are SOME when it comes to feminism. But that doesn’t mean ALL religious people whip themselves when they’ve sinned, right? Nor does it mean ALL feminists have anger management problems (and burn bras and boycott shaving their legs and date girls). So my question now is, how come the phrase “I’m a feminist, but…” is much more popular than the phrase “I’m a religious person, but…”? Is it because religion is considered by society a much more “valid” excuse for causing controversy than feminism? Because most religious leaders are males and thus they are “allowed” to be angry, while the most well-known feminists are women who are not “allowed” to be? Because many categories of religion believe in a “God”, who is often also portrayed as a male and thus is more accepted in our still-patriarchal culture and other cultures around the world? I’ve digress on a bit of a rant here (because only angry people rant, right?) but this is definitely something to think about.
Now the next time someone asks you or your class if you’re a feminist, I’m going to give you one big reason why you can proudly say “Yes, I am a feminist”, no ifs, ands, or BUTs. That reason is: if you believe in equal rights for females and males, you’re a feminist. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy – if you want your mother (or sister, or grandmother, or aunt, or niece, or girlfriend) to be treated as well as you are, you’re a feminist. If you think males and females should receive equal educational opportunities, equal employment opportunities, and equal pay for equal work, you’re a feminist. It doesn’t matter who you date, what you look like, or what you wear. I’m a feminist who wears dresses, is beautiful, shaves my legs and armpits, has sex, wears bras, has a boyfriend whom I adore, wears make-up, has long hair, is going to become a nurse, wants to get married and have children in the future, and has been described by a friend as “one of the sweetest people I have ever met who has a capacity for forgiveness that is unlimited”.
Kind of disproves the stereotypes that feminists are angry, man-haters, bra-burners, and lesbians, doesn’t it?
~ Tasha
P.S. Awesome link sent to me by a friend after she read my post. Enjoy!
