Recently, one of our Women’s Centre assistants, Nora, had the firsthand experience of being on the receiving end of a sexist, homophobic comment simply for being a proud feminist. While chatting to a classmate online, Nora was told “it’s like you are a lesbian…cause you work at the Women’s Centre.” And there we have it. Yet another person was faced with the age-old stereotype that because she is a feminist, she is obviously an angry man-hating lesbian.
And here we have the age-old stereotype that all feminists hate men to the point that they choose to be lesbians (because everyone gets to choose their sexual orientation, natch). Besides being a tired stereotype, this statement is offensive for two reasons. The first is that it is homophobic. The idea that being called a lesbian might somehow be taken as an insult implies that there is something wrong with being a lesbian (there isn’t). Secondly, it perpetuates the stereotype that women aren’t allowed to have a voice and that if they do have a voice, they are obviously man-haters.
Most women who decide to make their opinions known (whether it’s about women’s issues or anything else) are constantly penalized. We are expected to keep quiet and accept the status quo. Those of us who speak up are accused of creating problems that don’t exist. Working to be on par with men leads others to say that we hate men and want to live in a female dominated world. The truth is that most feminists are just fighting for equality. We want the freedom to make our own choices, not to conform to outdated stereotypes, and to be treated equally to men. If that makes us angry man-hating lesbians then so be it.
-Kirthan
Admittedly I don’t know the context of the comment from the classmate, but they way you have presented it here seems like a bit of an overreaction. To me, that comment says “The stereotype is that most people who work at the Women’s Center are lesbians, you are not and I find this juxtaposition funny”. This is obviously not a helpful stereotype or even a particularly funny joke, but no where in that statement is the implication that being a lesbian is bad, or that working at the Women’s Center makes you angry or man hating.
If Nora’s classmate had said, “it’s like you are a man hating lesbian… because you work at the Women’s Center” this anger would be well placed. But since the joke was predicated on the idea that lesbians work at the Women’s Center, your anger is misplaced. The stereotype you should be fighting here is that it is mostly lesbians who work at the Women’s Center. By casting too wide a net for your outrage at this admittedly stupid, biased and unfunny joke, you play into the stereotypes you fight against in this post.